The Bad and The Good

I am extremely thankful that my baby girl is so perfect, because my pregnancy and post pregnancy have been nothing but trouble. So here I am to share my pain...

Ouch.

From the day I found out I was pregnant I was sick as a dog. Sick, sick, sick. Every morning. Aside from my normal morning sickness I had the flu twice. TWICE! And food poisoning! I spent my Christmas day throwing up and spent an evening with cramps so bad I thought I was in labor. This was the story of my first trimester.

Everyone told me the second trimester would be better, that I would wake up one day and feel like a million bucks. It was true, I did...but not for long. I had already started swelling which led to my carpel tunnel. It was the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. It literally felt like I broke my hand at least once a day.

My swelling got worse and worse before I even got to my third trimester I could hardly walk. I looked ridiculous. At this point the Dr. tells me to get compression socks. REALLY? There was no way I was wearing these things out of the house. My nightly routine was to go in the pool for an hour or so, suck on a few ice pops, then go inside where Harris would struggle with my chubby little legs to get those darned socks on.

Ewww, chubby legs. They do NOT normally look this way.

They say it's good to exercise when you are pregnant, walking is great, but I could hardly walk to the bathroom. It was terrible.

Come the third trimester the pain in my wrist was unbearable. I was in tears all the time, couldn't hold a pen, turn a doorknob, etc. I finally had to get a big ugly wrist brace because even the slightest touch would make me scream.

Rylie made her appearance 10 days early. Oddly, the minute my water broke, the pain in my wrist COMPLETELY disappeared. Gone. Just like that. But with that came a whole new set of problems. My blood pressure skyrocketed. My epidural didn't work. I was in labor 24 hours before they made the decision that my sweet baby would arrive via c-section. sad, very sad. But I couldn't wait for this all to be over.

We got in the operating room where they gave me the drugs to try to numb me up down below. It didn't work. Eventually they had to give me a spinal tap, and from there it was all a blur. I didn't get to have that moment when you see your baby for the first time, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until recovery. I was foggy for days from the magnesium they were pumping in me for my blood pressure. They kept me in the hospital for quite some time before letting me go home.

Once I got out of the hospital things got a little better. I was recovering well from my surgery, my blood pressure went back to normal, I was so happy to be home with my baby and husband. Until these mysterious bumps appeared in my belly. What could they be?

I went back to the Dr. to have the problem checked out. They insisted that they were just blood clots that would eventually dissolve. To try to help them along they stuck a needle in my belly...multiple times. I was a human pin cushion. Nothing came out of the bumps, so they sent me on my way and told me to wait it out. I went back a week or so later because one of the bumps was more defined, like a golf ball. At this point they sent me to a surgeon who told me I had a hernia and sent me for a CT scan.

This brings us to my surgery this week. I was fascinated in pre-op by the criminal in the room next to me who was accompanied by his corrections officers. They even went in to the surgery with him. I was grasping at anything to keep my mind off the fact that they were going to put me to sleep in a little while. It freaks me out that someone has such control over me to just put me to sleep and wake me up when they want to. And the smell of the anesthesia is awful. I think it is still with me. I wasn't even scared of them cutting me open, just the going to sleep part and the fear that when I wake up Ill babble about senseless stuff and possibly throw up (neither of those things happened)

So here I am, stuck on the couch for another week or so sucking down pain killers and playing Words with Friends. I can't cuddle with my baby or do anything that requires use of the muscles in my stomach. I have a cut in my belly button and one in my lower abdomen where they removed some soft tissue that was causing the big lumps.

So did pregnancy suck? YES. Was it worth it? HECK YES. I'd do it a million times over. With all the bad came the good. But I do think I deserve a trip to Hawaii or a large sum of money. I've gone through a lot.

A girl can dream, right?